Did you catch that? UPDATED website. I may not have written much over the past year, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t working on something writing-related. I hired another author (Morgan Tarpley Smith) to help me update my author brand. And then I had Savanna Kaiser, my website designer, revamp my website to reflect my author brand. I even had new author photos taken (and I do not like taking pictures!)

If you’ve been following me since my first book series, thank you. If you’re a new follower, I welcome you! I published Book Four of my rock star series, Never Give Up, almost two years ago, on December 8, 2020. Writing and self-publishing the books of that series was the dream of my heart. It was also the most challenging project I’ve ever taken on. The roller coaster I went on for almost ten years is a story for another day. Suffice it to say I was tired and burned out after the release of Never Give Up.

Many life changes happened personally over the past few years, but I always knew I’d eventually go back to writing. I also knew I had to start over again with a new direction. Figuring out who I am as an author has been a huge part of regrouping.

Discovering my author brand was a fun assignment. I learned that it’s okay to be “me” – a lover of ’80s music, edgy topics, romance, nostalgia, and redemption themes. We came up with a new tagline – “Edgy Romance With a Melody of Hope”. I never thought I’d find a tagline that incorporates everything I’m about as a writer. I applaud Morgan and all her work. (See P.S. for Morgan’s website).

I’m now starting a new book project I call “Backstage Baby”, about a teen girl who has experienced immense heartache and runs away when things get desperate. Her childhood best friend, who is in love with her, never gives up even amidst his own life challenges. I don’t know at this point whether I will self-publish or seek traditional publishing. One way or another, this story will get out (it just may take a while).

In the meantime, if you subscribe to my newsletter, you’ll receive a free short story I wrote last year called Forever Young, a story of young love set in the 1980s and current times. I even have a playlist on Spotify for this story! I also have a Christmas story from several years back called A Taste of Christmas. I’m willing to send anyone this story, but you must subscribe to my newsletter first!

That about does it for this time. Thanks for reading!

Find Morgan here – https://morgantarpleysmith.com/

Find Savanna here – https://savannakaiser.com/

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“What a joke you are.” “You don’t fit in.” “Stop embarrassing yourself and just GIVE UP.”

These are all things I have told myself over the past several years, mostly regarding my writing. The messages were especially prevalent last fall as I looked toward my soon-to-be empty nester life and feared I’d have no purpose. I sunk to a new low and, I’m ashamed to say, I was quite vocal about my feelings with some close friends. The “victim” attitude I held was so deeply entrenched in my thoughts I couldn’t see beyond these ugly messages. It took a few brave friends to give me “tough love” pep talks to bring me out of my pity party.

I think I’ve spent most of my life vying for approval. Growing up, I was a doormat, an easy target for bullying and teasing. I was always last picked for teams during P.E. In junior high, I hated the way I looked – so plain and never knew how to dress with the latest styles. I wasn’t a “cool kid” in high school, either. In fact, I believe I spent most of high school uncomfortable in my own skin, and I couldn’t wait for it to be over. (Now I regret not enjoying that time).

During my college days, I suffered terribly from anxiety and depression. God blessed me with wonderful friends during those years, who saw me through some rough times. Thankfully, despite my emotional state, I did enjoy college and have many great memories from those years.

After bouncing around a few temporary bookkeeping jobs after college, I landed my staff accounting job – where I have been for 23 years, with many changes, including the company being bought by another firm. This might not come as a shock to some of you, but I never fell in love with this job. I came to love the people I worked with over the years, (even though a few of them scared me to pieces at first), but, to this day, it’s never been my passion. It’s just a way to earn an income.

Once I started writing, I thought I could eventually quit my job and write full time. What a dreamer I was back then (in 2011). Instead of quitting, I’ve had to work more hours to pay for writing expenses like editing and cover design, marketing and conferences. All so I could still feel like a failure in 2019!

Now here we are in April of 2020. I’ve stepped away from writing and marketing so I could put in more hours at work for tax season. (And I went into tax season with a bit of a grumble). I was blessed to get away to New York City for my son’s band trip, and we had an amazing time. When I came home, we went almost immediately into social distancing and the stay at home order. Life got serious fast. People were getting sick, dying, scared, nervous about their income, depressed, and overwhelmed.

I’d already been working on my attitude when I moved to the new office location, so my perspective had started changing. After a few months of low hours, I was happy to be busy and bring in more income, especially since several big expenses came due at the same time. I found myself not so miserable at work, even though I was putting in twice as many hours. The change of scenery and my own changes made a world of difference. And now, while so many friends are out of work, I’m appreciating that my job is safe.

Being away from the writing world, I also got new perspective on that part of my life. For a long time, I wrapped up my identity in my success as a writer. Recently, I began seeing my writing as only one part of who I am. My worth isn’t related to the average ratings on my books. Seeing other writers beat themselves up over their writing made me aware of how I had been for too long. You see, I want writing to be fun. Yes, I want to share a message, but I also want it to be a joy. Work is work; I use my accounting skills and education to help support my family. I write for God and for my own enjoyment, and I pray others will benefit. And now that I’m back to part time hours, I pray this perspective stays and I don’t get caught up in the comparison game again.

I’ll wrap this up with a few quotes from the movie, “Facing the Giants”, which we watched as a family the other night. The first one is “Your attitude’s like the aroma of your heart. If your attitude stinks, your heart’s not right.” I can sure attest to this truth, going back to school days! Looking into my past, I can see that so much could have been different if I’d had a better attitude. But we’re all works in progress, even well into our forties!

The other quote I loved from the movie was “I’ve resolved to give God everything I’ve got and leave the results up to Him.” Instead of going through life not trying hard and making excuses, I want to use the gifts He’s given me. If I keep asking Him for guidance and follow through, I can give control over to Him and find a peace that goes beyond my human understanding (a paraphrase of Philippians 4:7).

If any of you out there have a running monologue inside of negative messages, I pray you find a way to change your perspective and start living a life of fulfillment. I’m still in the process of working through baggage from my past, but I can already feel the difference. Don’t give up and give in to the “victim” mindset. God made you for a purpose and you ARE worth it!

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As I survey the many photo cards we received for Christmas, I’m stunned by how grown-up the kids look, and how the parents (our peers) are—let’s face it—appearing middle-aged. Christmas letters talk about children away at college or applying for college.

Thirty-somethings who are amid raising young children, don’t blink. It won’t be long until you’re filling out the FAFSA form to apply for college financial aid. These years may seem long, but in the blink of an eye, you’ll be facing the prospect of children moving away to college.

2019 was a year of joy and disappointment. Personally, I’m ready for a fresh start. I regret to say much of the valleys were due to my own negative outlook. At our Christmas Eve gathering, a board was on display which we all had signed last year, stating our hopes for 2019. My goals were to send off my firstborn to college and to publish my fourth book. Well…my firstborn is attending college, but here in town. No fancy send-off this year.

My book did NOT get published. In fact, I just finished the rough draft. (Though with a lot of hard work, it will see the light of day in 2020).

Looking back, I know I have a lot to be thankful for. But I spent so much time in 2019 striving and comparing that I’m afraid I didn’t enjoy the blessings I had in front of me.

I’ve recently become aware of how precious life is, and how we don’t know the number of days we have. And, more specifically, I don’t know how much longer I’ll have my kids around on a day-to-day basis. Time is flying by. My youngest will graduate high school in five months.

Don’t blink. Savor life, the good and the bad.

~ Anne

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Just as he contemplates suicide, an angel appears and shows him what the world would be like if he hadn’t been born. It’s a powerful movie, and one of my favorite quotes is from Clarence, George’s guardian angel,

“Strange, isn’t it? Each man’s life touches so many other lives.  When he isn’t around he leaves an awful hole, doesn’t he?”

Now, I’ve seen this movie several times, but with the way I’ve been feeling lately, I needed this message. You see, I have been struggling with unmet goals and feeling like a failure. My husband is probably tired of me saying, “I don’t know what my purpose is. If I disappeared, nobody would notice.”

As a young man, James Stewart’s character tells his father, “I want to do something big!” Oh, how I can relate. Being an author, it’s so easy to compare myself to other authors, ones who get a lot of attention, win awards, and get fabulous publishing deals. I’m self-published, so it’s even harder to get my name out there. And if I based my writing career on how “big” my name was, I’d be considered a flop.

But writing is just one aspect of my life. I know I can’t base my worth on my writing success. I have so many other roles, and as Clarence states, “each man’s life touches so many other lives.” We may not see it in our lifetimes, but we do impact others. Family, friends, co-workers, the cashier at Target, you never know! And even with my tiny reader audience, I’m able to impact lives. It may not feel “big”, but every life is valuable; every reader is valued.

Maybe there’s a reason I haven’t had great worldly success with my writing. Perhaps I’m supposed to be like George Bailey: quietly going about my work, loving the people around me, being kind to those I serve, and being content with my place in the world. Eventually George came to love and appreciate his life, even if he didn’t make a lot of money or travel the world.

I’m still working on being content, and as we enter a new decade, I pray I can fall into contentment and leave comparison and low self-worth behind.

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Yesterday as I sat in my accounting update class, I started wishing I had the same drive and passion for accounting work that I did for writing. My life would’ve been so much easier over the past seven years. No balancing work with writing, no feeling depressed during tax season due to lack of writing time, no guilt over neglecting my family, no disappointment over bad reviews, no worries over not being good enough.

With more than twenty years in the accounting profession, I have confidence in my abilities.  I feel validated in my career, due to positive affirmation over the years. As a writer, I have a lot more doubts about myself.

To come home from a long day at work and unwind with a good book—reading, not writing—oh, what a dream that would be. Writing takes up so much time and mental energy. These days, I’m thrilled when I have both at the same time!

Financially, I’d be better off. Not only from working more, but from not spending money on editors and book designers and giveaways. Gosh, the money I could’ve saved.

I’d be proud of my status as a “CPA”, wearing it like a badge of honor. I would defend the profession, fighting against the stereotype of “boring, all-business, no-personality number-cruncher”. (Okay, so I am proud to be a CPA, I won’t lie).

I wouldn’t have people asking me (while snickering) if I’ve made the “New York Times list” yet.  I wouldn’t have hurt feelings when friends didn’t ask about my books.

Yes, life would be a lot simpler if I was “just” a wife, mom, and accountant. But God designed me for more. And who am I to question the Creator of all things?

I love writing, but it’s hard in many ways. Yet I know God wired me to be a writer, whatever that means for His purposes. Writing is an act of obedience on my part. It can even be a form of worship.

I’m grateful for my skills as a “bean counter”, and God has graciously provided steady employment for me over the past twenty-two years. I’m happy I can help provide for my family, and with college on the horizon for my older son, my income will be appreciated.

But I’m also glad God made me unique—with accounting AND writing in my blood. I still don’t know my purpose as a writer, and I may never know in this life, but I will continue to pray for His guidance and follow as best I can, trusting He’s using me for His good. And as I grow closer in my relationship with God, the negative emotions I mentioned earlier seem less intense. He’s constantly working on me, shaping me, and I expect He will be until I see Him face to face.

What about you? Do you work in a profession that’s different from your passion, or calling?

~ Anne

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You see, I’m pretty bashful when it comes to socializing in person, even if I’ve chatted with the same people on Facebook. (A lot of writers are introverted, though some are fairly chatty and outgoing.) At last year’s conference, I struggled to loosen up and be myself. This year, I vowed to not let my shyness ruin my experience.

With the help of my wonderful roommates, I ended up having a great experience at the conference. If you’ve ever been to a large conference – one packed with sessions, meetings, and events – you’ll understand that it can zap your energy. Trust me, I was exhausted the entire week after I returned. But while I was there, I soaked up everything and allowed my adrenaline to carry me through each busy day.

I won’t bore you with a detailed summary, but I will tell you that I learned a lot in the workshops I attended – which included topics such as marketing, writing series, community-building, and the spiritual aspect of writing fiction. All sessions were taught by seasoned authors, which was fun for newbies like me who hold these authors in high esteem. The two keynote speeches by bestselling author Debbie Macomber were inspiring, and I was fortunate enough to catch her for a picture! I also grabbed a photo with one of my favorite authors, Tamera Alexander.

While at the conference, I met with three literary agents to seek writing career advice. Each agent was easy to talk to, and, when the time comes, I will likely send proposals to all three. God will figure it out from there!

Overall, I learned to surrender my plans to God. The third agent appointment was not one I’d requested, yet it turned out to be the most promising meeting of the three. I don’t believe that was an accident. What will come of it, only God knows, but He’ll reveal His reasons in His perfect timing.

While overwhelming and tiring, I love the ACFW Conference because it’s the only time I can network with other writers face-to-face, and the opportunities to learn, meet with industry professionals, and be inspired are priceless.

I hope to attend ACFW 2019 in San Antonio, but since our first child will be starting college next year, it may not be in the cards, financially. However, I also know if God wants me there, He’ll make it happen. Either way, I came away from ACFW 2018 with a great deal of hope and a drive to keep writing!

Blessings,

~ Anne

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          Doesn’t that remind you of the awkward social dynamics of junior high and high school? It might have been a bit more dramatic then—with our volatile adolescent emotions—but things don’t change as we get into adulthood. We all want to belong to a group…a place where people “get” us; where you can be comfortable just being yourself. Last year, I wasn’t 100% sure I belonged in the Christian author world. While I knew I didn’t belong in the steamy romance world (anymore), I wasn’t sure if I should stick with general market and write “clean” or fully identify myself as a “Christian” author.  

          A year later, I’m leaning toward the Christian author label, mostly because my faith is a part of me, and it will naturally come out as I write. I don’t think I could write a story without mentioning the role faith plays in my characters’ journeys. The great thing I’ve discovered about Christian authors this past year is that there’s a wide range in how they weave faith into a story. Some are very heavy with Christian themes while others are more subtle. It’s a relief to know I can choose a lighter approach and still be included in the genre.

          Since September 2017, I’ve gotten to know a lot more authors, and I finally feel more comfortable being myself. And the best thing is that many of us have the introverted, socially awkward personality, so I know I’ll be with my tribe! This year, I’m going to be bolder about introducing myself to others, and I’m not going to hide out in my room, feeling unimportant. God provided me with an awesome group of roommates, and I’m eager to meet them in person.

          As I pack up my suitcase, I’m going to pray that nothing—insecurity, comparison, fear, or envy—keeps me from being me. God made me a certain way, and He doesn’t make mistakes.

          Are you ever afraid to be yourself? Do you change your personality based on what group you’re with?

          I’ll leave you with this truth from the prophet Isaiah:

Isaiah 64:8 (ESV)

But now, O Lord, you are our Father;
we are the clay, and you are our potter;
we are all the work of your hand.

The post It’s Okay to be Yourself appeared first on Anne Carol Author.

Unfortunately, I’m still learning how to “stay in my lane” when it comes to other areas of my life, mainly physical fitness, writing, and keeping house. One click on Pinterest or a scroll through my Instagram feed can have me caught in the comparison trap. Seeing pictures of forty-something-year-old women who look like they’re twenty-five, writer friends signing contracts, and home interiors that look like they’re straight out of a magazine make me feel like I’ll never measure up. How many of us have felt “less-than” or envious when we view other peoples’ lives on social media?

I first heard the phrase “stay in your lane” last year when our teaching leader at Bible Study Fellowship told us not to dwell on what other people are doing. When we focus on others, we lose sight of our own journey. For example, if I continued comparing my fitness level with that of another woman with a different set of genes, I might never be satisfied with myself. But if I kept track of my own physical fitness, I could see that I’m actually improving over time.

The same goes for writing. I’m surrounded by author friends who are self-publishing multiple books a year, landing publishing contracts, or signing with agents. When envy starts to creep in, I must remind myself that God has a different plan for me. The hard part is not knowing what that plan is! All I can do is follow His lead as best I can and accept the path He has for me.

A Bible verse I like to keep handy is Ephesians 2:10:

For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

I love the last part, “God prepared in advance for us to do.” Isn’t it comforting to know God has prepared each of us with a gift we can use for His Kingdom? Perhaps if we took our eyes off the person next to us, we can “stay in our lane” and start becoming who God intended us to be, (organized home or not).

As for next week, my goal is to give over my anxiety to God as my second son sits behind the wheel for the first time.

What else can I do?

~

What about you? Do you ever get caught in the comparison trap? How do you overcome it?

Update: My son has been driving for a little over a week now, and he’s doing great!

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Welcome to my first blog post! I’m so excited that I get to attend the ACFW (American Christian Fiction Writers) Conference next week in Grapevine, TX. This is my first ACFW Conference, and I can’t tell you how much I look forward to meeting new people and attending workshops about my favorite subject, writing!

Author Laurie Tomlinson has a questionnaire on her website and is encouraging ACFW authors to share a bit about themselves. Check out her post here for links to all the responses!

MY ANSWERS:

Name: Anne Carol

Location: Northern California

What you write/tagline/trademark: I write sweet rock star romance, set in the eighties.

Place in the book world: Self-published two books, which I’d like to re-work before my third book is published. They are all part of a four book series.

On a scale of hugger to 10-foot-pole, please rate your personal space: I won’t initiate hugs (shy girl here), but I’ll accept them!

Something VERY serious: How do you take your Starbucks? When I’m being naughty, I love a White Chocolate Mocha. However, I’m cheap and watching my sugar, so I’ll usually get regular coffee with cream and sugar-free caramel.

The unique talking points that will get you going for hours: Writing (of course), wine tasting, traveling, and how to deal with teenage sons!

Loved ones at home you’ll be missing: My husband and two sons, 16 and 14.

Conference goals we can pray for? To have more confidence in myself. I feel like a total poser right now. My goal is to meet with a few mentors and kind of map out where I’m heading in my writing journey.

Anything we can celebrate with you? I’m almost finished writing my third book!

One or two ways we can help you build your platform? You can like my author page and follow me on Instagram!

Thanks for doing this, Laurie! What a great idea!

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